So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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