I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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