Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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