Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
