Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
