U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
