Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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