Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
