Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
