I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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