I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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