I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
