this just has baby written all over it
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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