And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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