Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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