He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
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Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
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Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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