So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
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You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
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Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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