All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
