At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
