he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
