There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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