The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
