70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
