i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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