Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
