She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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