ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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