Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
When did angry sex become our thing?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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