yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
