I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
