He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
