She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
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yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
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I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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