He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
