fuck your aforementioned shoe
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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