I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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