Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
He did a backflip because drugs
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