Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I'm having to shit out rocks
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
