Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
last night I used snow as a chaser
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
