I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
