It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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