Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
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