She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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