When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize