Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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