and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
