Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
