Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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