Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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