First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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