i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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