Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
