gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
