I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
