Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
It was confusing and full of hummus
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
i need some magic done to my vagina
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
