did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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