no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
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Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
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Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
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