Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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